Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
