i just had sex bonerless
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
