Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize