I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
