Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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