No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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