he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there's paper in my vomit.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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