Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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