I didn't shave. On purpose
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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