Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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