i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
