did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
do nipples grow back?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize