if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
