I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
