one might say we're banned from that church
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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