if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize