you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
