there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
