Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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