he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My pussy is not your playground.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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