I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
