so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
