Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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