does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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