Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
