so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
