And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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