If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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