trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
