the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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