Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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