Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
