On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
