I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
