I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
