I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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