He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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