I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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