I wish i was in the wii world.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
