if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
