dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
zippers are such a cool invention
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
