Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
