You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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