i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
