Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
