On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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