five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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