sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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