just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My vagina just clenched in fear
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
