she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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