I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize