Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
