Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
