I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
