So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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