I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
