Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
