Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
