I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
