Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Your tits are I can't wait for
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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