absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize