I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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