I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize