is your mom at the bar?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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