he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
