it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
