very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize