Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize