I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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