ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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