idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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