the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
