Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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