fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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