road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
