I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
