i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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