Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
