i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
